Still not giving up!

Posted: March 1, 2012 in Uncategorized

I love how waking up can make one feel much more positive! Last night I was having a really hard time once I saw what Cody’s first paycheck was going to be. There’s no way it will even pay more than one or MAYBE two of our bills. I feel like a failure because I can’t contribute at the moment. I’m doing all I can with Scentsy since there are so many consultants here in Utah and I’m trying my best but I’m not getting much in sales. I’m doing my best to save us money, I’m helping Cody search for better paying and/or closer jobs for HOURS a day, scouring the internet, updating the resumes, etc etc etc. I’m trying to find thrifty free/very cheap presents I can make for Kaiden for his birthday in April, and I’m trying to find a way to repurpouse some blankets and stuff into things I need like a nursing cover (although that really isn’t going well as I don’t know how to sew!). I’m researching breastfeeding, going to BF classes, and already in touch with lactation consultants and researching elimination diets in case of allergies. I’m being dilligent about spacing WIC to make it last and using what we have before we buy new things. I’ve even sold a lot of my maternity clothes so I’m down to the last couple dresses, two pairs of pants, and some shirts that will all be sold once I’m back in regular pants. But I still feel like I am not doing enough. I want to be contributing more to Cody’s family because we owe them SO much. I want to be saving us more money, and I want to be getting a job to help but things just are not working out, especially with me being due any day!

Then I woke up this morning. I’ve been really sick last night and this morning but what sleep I did get was very good, uninterupted sleep! And do you know what my first thought was? Things could be so much worse. They really could. I am SO greatful they are not! Life sucks but wanna know the one thing I’ve learned about it? It goes on. Things get better eventually and as long as we pray, and move our feet, (When you pray, move your feet) G-d is gonna take care of the rest. I’m thankful we have an amazing family and awesome friends, who are supportive and pray for us, think of us, and hope and wish the best for us! I am so thankful that my husband is such a good provider who is working hard to find a better job and pick up extra shifts, even though he is exausted by his normal swing shifts! I am so thankful we’re together and not homeless or separated. I’m thankful that things could be so much worse but aren’t!

I’m also thankful that we are learning from thease trials! I’m learning to think outside the box with birthday gifts, for example for Kaiden’s 3rd birthday I’m going to make him a book out of printable coloring pages, educational print outs, etc! I’m also going to get some patterns and make him some hand puppets! I’m also learning to think outside the box with other things like clothes. Instead of throwing away clothes with holes in them if they’re solid colors I am saving them for Cody to use as undershirts for work, as long as the collar part looks good! I also plan to go through our storage unit and find old clothes that no longer fit and try to repurpose them into something for the baby, rags, whatever! Why waste good fabric? And maybe my awesome Mother-In-Law or Cody’s Grandmas or someone from the ward could help me learn how to use my sewing machine and learn to sew! I’m also learning to be greatful for what we do have instead of dwelling on what we don’t have. It really has done my heart and soul good to see how much we have and how badly things could be worse. I’m using this time where we don’t have enough money and are in a frugal mindset to find ideas about things that will help us live frugaly and save money when we do get our own house, things like gardening, canning, food storage, making your own cake mix and other mixes from scratch, cooking from scratch, crock pot and frozen dinners that are cheap, orginization and cleaning tips, recipies for your own tooth paste, dishwasher soap, laundry detergent, cleaning supplies, etc! I’m trying to prepare myself to be a better homeaker, a better mother, and a better wife. I want to help us thrive and save, and being in this mindset where there isn’t always money coming in and when it is there isn’t enough is really helping me to do that. And of course pinterest is really helping me orginize it all!

So really things could be worse! I’m trying to focus on how I can use what we do have and are given in the best way and how I can help us get through this. I’m wanting to focus more on doing the little things with love. I’m trying to focus more on the positives of what we DO have and all our many blessings than what we DON’T have and all our trials. I’m trying to use this time to experiance prayer and G-d’s mercy and care and to teach my son that G-d will always take care of us if only we are faithful and do what we can.

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